Nibbled News

Skateboard riders should be trained, licensed and insured

"The  hardest thing about skateboarding is consistency: The slightest flick of your  foot or gust of wind can send your board flying, so it's really anybody's game  out there."  ---  Shaun  White. 

Skateboarding , one form of personal transportation , is also considered to be the following: an action sport;  recreational activity; art form; or just plain good old outdoor exercise and fun. The sport itself has many adherents and has been shaped by many skateboarders throughout the years. A good per centage of the users are under the age of 18 and more than 75 per cent of them are male.

The arrival of warmer weather has also encouraged a great number of these speed enthusiasts to venture outdoors and and strut there stuff on sidewalks and roadways that were not initially meant for them to hotdog on. The uncontrollable nature of the board itself combined with the inexperience of many board riders leads at time to disastrous results.

Bumps, bruises, contusions and a host of assorted injuries are the likely result of inexperience. Skate boarders realize and  accept the fact that over the course of time he/she will experience the occasional tumble, shinned knee or elbow cut that's why the majority of them wear helmets, knee pads and elbow guards.

The unaware pedestrian or motor vehicle operator immediately becomes aware of the inherent danger in the sport when a blurred figure immediately lands on top of or stops cold turkey in front of his car or else crashes into him unannounced while he is casually walking down a sidewalk unaware that a dangerous situation is about to occur.

A senior citizen out for an early evening walk with  his or her dog on a city sidewalk, a mother pushing her young infant in a stroller or even a young couple walking hand in hand on a warm summer night should not have to concern themselves that an out of control skate board will suddenly careen into them and cause them physical harm. The senior can only move so fast and the mother with the infant is at the mercy of the board rider as it approaches them at break neck speeds.

I have recently jumped out of the way of a group of younger board riders as they frantically yelled, whistled and shouted at pedestrians in their route of travel to "get out of the way!". It was a Sunday afternoon and the public library I was visiting was located on a hill. The road way was marked for both cars and bicycles but the younger riders chose to use the sidewalk instead. I was lucky that they yelled at me for all of them were listening to their iPods and two were busy texting on their cell phones.

Skateboarders should be licensed before they are allowed to speed around in public places. The licensing would ensure that they have had sufficient training to handle themselves and their board around the public. Parents should ensure that their youngsters have had this necessary training to protect themselves and the public from harm. Fines should be levied on all riders who lack this training. If a bicycle rider requires a licence to be on the street then board riders should also require such documentation. 

A skateboard is not a toy like a frisbee or hool hoop once were. It is a serious piece of uncontrollable transportation that puts the rider and the public at personal risk whenever a youthful rider gets the urge to test his or her mettle against the challenge of the sport. A public sidewalk, city street or even shopping mall parking lot is not the appropriate place for these young risk takers to enjoy their boards.

Standards should be set to protect the public and improve the safety aspect of the sport. Youth clubs or the merchandisers of the boards should offer an orientation program to provide the training, licensing and safety issues involved in using the board. Public streets, walkways and even shopping malls are not the correct venues to use to enjoy this sport.

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Read more at : 

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/skateboarding.html#gOzJQMEjQH2bWf4U.99

 

Apartment hunting doesn't always have to be intimidating

"When  I was 5, some financial things happened, and I moved seven times in a year. We  moved from apartment to apartment, sometimes living with friends. My mom would  always say, 'Don't get comfortable, because we may not be here  long.'" --    LeBron  James.

If you are an apartment dweller who has experienced the discomfiture of periodically searching for a new place to live you then realize that the search itself sucks big time. The prospect of living in a newly rennovated residence is often foreshadowed by the fact that there an almost infinite number of details that must be checked and rechecked to ensure that your move in and out will flow smoothly. 

 The process itself is somewhat akin to searching for lost treasure. You have to be meticulous, prepared to do the required amount of leg work, patient and of course honest both with yourself and your future landlord. A major stumbling block in the process is trust: you trust that your future suite manager will offer you a fair deal; the manager trusts that you will be a responsible and worthwhile candidate to reside in his building.

 There are a few useful gimmicks you can carry with you use to assist you in your search for your next desired dwelling place.. This article will describe the tools I use as a Mystery Shopper to evaluate the caliber of professionalism resident managers offer their potential new clients. You will need to bring a few extra items with you but in the end it is worth the effort. A bit of diligence and personal resolve will ensure you get the lodging you are seeking.

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A cell phone equipped with a camera is an ideal tool to use help you record your initial reactions to a condo or co-op you are viewing. This is especially true if you have scheduled a number of viewings on a particular day. Memory oftentimes is clouded and discretely clicking a few pictures here and there can help you form a better opinion of a fuure home for yourself. The phone helps you keep in direct communication with the manager in case he did not keep your appointment or you need directions to locate the site. Many times my cell phone has enabled me to rearrange my appointment due to conflicting scheduling situations.

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A small pocket compass is another tool you can use to check and see if the person conducting your tour is familiar with the property and its surroundings. When you chatted with the resident manager on the telephone to arrange the tour you specifically requested a suite facing a certain direction. When you are viewing the suite use the compass to verify for yourself whether or not the promised unit is facing the direction you requested. If not mention this fact to the tour guide and watch their reaction. It's worth the effort.

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Another recommended tool I carry with me on my mystery shopping assignemnts is a mini flashlight. Make sure that the batteries are fully charged and ready to be used. On one assignment I had to appraise a suite located on the 15th floor of a prominent highrise tower. The manager and myself had stepped into the elevator and she nonchalantly pressed to button to transport us to the required floor. After a few moments of upward ascent the elevator stopped between floors. The lights in the elevator itself went out. This was a good time to panic.

 

Luckily,  I reached for my flashlight and happily saved the day. The visibly shaken female unit manager  was able to use her cell phone to place a service call to the building's maintenance department. Help arrived shortly and after we had inspected the apartment we decided to chose another elevator to use for our downward descent. It was an almost harrowing experience but I was prepared for that moment.

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Finally, bring a small notepad and record your impressions of the suite, the building, the surrounding neighborhood and most importantly your interaction with the resident manager when you get back to your car. The memories are still fresh in your mind and you will be able to compile your notes later on before you make your final decision.

This approach might seem somewhat unorthodox and at times off the wal but it worked for me. I located my present suite using the methods I have outlayed here and am very pleased with the results. The method you use is entirely up to you. Just realize that your future enjoyment of your suite will ultimately depend on the planning steps you orchestrated to ensure that the accomodation you searched for was the one you finally received.

Parental smother-love debilitates children and grown adults

"Because  parents have power over children. They feel they have to do what their parents  say. But the love of money is the root of all evil. And this is a sweet child.  And to see him turn like this, this isn't him. This is not him." ---   Michael Jackson.

Mother Nature has endowed the black bear with the necessary instinctual common sense to raise her young, teach them all that she knows about survival in the wilderness and then when the time is right abandon them when the offspring have learnt all that she can teach them about living.

Their personal survival and safety depends on how well they have individually adapted to and incorporated  their mother's techniques and teachings. A mother bear can only do so much to instill survival skills in her young cubs. The rest is up to them and their desire to exist.

Plato, the earliest and most reknown Greek Philosopher and educational thinker, postulated in his work, The Republic, that education was the most important building block for society. He advocated that young  children around the age of seven be removed from their mothers and be raised by the state. This overall plan would assist society in  identifying the innate skills of the children and give them proper education for that particular skill.

This governmentally sponsored tutoring would, in his opinion,  guarantee that society would have those skills necessary to maintain itself through its members. This was his ideological platform at the time more than two thousand years ago. Of course you had to have parents agree to this massive educational reform program. The children would be well provided for and assured a productive and fulfilling future.

Modern man however in his infinitely higher wisdom , realizing that parents would not willingly want to be separated from their young , invented instead places of education that offer teetering and inexperienced offspring the place to go and learn the spooosed required skills and graces needed to function in a more contemporary social setting. This learning curve tends to ensure that society itself will not fall flat on its face due to a wide spread lack of trained individuals  able to meet its basic social and economic needs.

Sometimes well meaning parents tip the scales of success and intentionally smother their child's inner drive for personal success and replace it with their own need for control and dominion. Society then has its hands full of adults who live at home in their 40's, 50's and 60's and lack the ambition and drive to better their lot in life due to their own parentally engineered insecurity and lack of faith in themselves and their abilities.Eventually they become a blight on society and their families.

Pat (not his real name) is a divorced 66- year-old male who has become such a social tragedy. He is estranged from his family, friends, spouse and children and  currently resides in his car, performs his personal hygiene tasks at 24-hour gasoline service stations, does his laundry whenever the mood moves him and has lost a significant 20 pounds of body weight.  He is in dire health and has no place to turn for support or comfort.

Former friends state that his mother, who passed away a few years ago, was the guiding light of his life. He was the baby of the family who was always pampered by her and admitted a few years ago that he needed a strong female figure in his life. His wife has gone on with her own life and has broken any social ties with him. He calls his daughter and son on occasion to solicit some money from them. They dread receiving telephone calls from him.

Another person I once worked with, call him Frank, is 56 years old, was an only child , has a significant amount of money in his bank account which he acquired through familial inheritances, has never been married and currently lives with his aging mother. He also is a tragedy in that he never left home, never apparently took a chance on himself to improve his life or circumstance and admits that he would be lost if anything ever happened to his mother. He says he is unsure about his future.

 He admits that there is something missing in his life but also adds that his love of travel and his motorcyle helps him escape the boring times which tend to crop up in his life. He keeps his friendships at arm's length and is outwardly manipulative in his attitude towards other people. He had purchased his parent's home and allows his mother to reside there with him. People who visit his house notice how he treats his mother like a personal servant and gets upset with her quite frequently.

I feel a certain amount of empathy for both these men realizing that they are the same type of personality located on the opposite end of the same extreme. Smother love has had a direct impact on their lives . One man will probably die alone in his rusting out car while the other will live alone in his high priced mansion feeling unsure about the meaning of his life.

Finally, there is Kelly a 44-year-old father of two, separated from his wife for the past two years who is employed but lives in his parents garage. His wife and himself had a mid sized house and a mortgage but when she left him to pursue her own career he just gave up and let his parents take care of him and his needs. His parents are strong-willed folks and have always protected their son from the many cruelties of life the list of which probably includes his ex wife.

The men presented here are not atypical. They merely appear to lack the social skills necessary to blend in smoothly with life and their significant others. A smothering familial member has apparently done them a great injustice by extending their period of dependency to include adulthood. Parents should know when to let their fledglings leave the nest even if it is done at a time later on in life.

Your dog depends on you for moral support

"Animals  are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their  actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up  to." Alfred A. Montapert

When you reside on the  main floor level of an apartment complex you immediately discover that your view of the world changes on an almost daily if not hourly  basis. This is especially true if you have lived for many years on the third or fourth floor level of a high rise residential building. 

 The world of street traffic and pedestrians down below is out of your immediate line of sight. While the view up there in the clouds at times could be described as being inspirational the real glimpses of life and people are discovered  on the lower levels. The air is cooler and the pace of life a bit more hectic.

You will soon discover that people strolling past your patio walking their dogs offer you an immediate although  short term glimpse of themselves and the way they relate to the world around them. The relationship they share with their pet can easily be discerned by the way the animal paces itself in relaton to its master's stride.

Confident pups strut proudly at their master's side. Insecure ones continually look over their shoulders as they saunter along. Dogs with an attitude trot at a distance challenging the world to knock that proverbial block of wood off their shoulder. Insecure and neurotic animals present a pseudo-aggressive stance but only with their master's permission.

The way many people treat and interact with their pets ( dogs in particular)  tells onlookers the manner in which these same folks relate to life in general. Impatient dog owners will actually drag the dog by the leash and force them to proceed down the sidewalk. One neighbor I noticed was tugging hard on his dog's leash while the dog itself sat back on its hind legs refusing to walk another step.

I actually got angry watching this older man forcibly pulling his dog along the sidewalk. The dog itself was an older dog and had trouble maintaining its defiant gait against its master.  You could say that the master in his own mind felt he was winning the battle of wills. The next day the same man walked past my building and his dog now walked a lot more confidently at the new pace it set for the duo.

Jim, a former neighbor of mine, treated his dog like royalty. It was an older dog, blind in one eye and suffered from a slight touch of arthritis. But this dog always enjoyed its daily promenade with his master. This pampered pooch was always dressed for the weather: in the winter boots, a body protective wrap and toque. In the summer months: lighter slip on booties for its paws and a protective water resistant blanket.

I thought this was an extravagance until I discovered the cost a visit to the veterinary hospital can amount to.  I hope that there is a medical insurance plan to help defray the medical bill for dogs. Some of the charges rival health care for humans.

Jim's  dog passed away a short while ago and Jim was saddened by its death. He is in his mid-70's and walks with a cane but still misses the long walks that he and his pet enjoyed. They  gave them both an opportunity to get some sun and fresh air during the spring and summer months.

Many rental apartment units charge dog owners a hefty $25 per month per pet owned. You have to really love your animal to cover this cost. A pet owner also needs to develop a special rapport with his or her dog. It is a relationship that develops over time.

 Dogs are perky, proud, pugnacious, personable and playful. They will reward you with love, kindness, fidelity and friendship if you treat them with a degree of respect, love and attention. They are good for the ego and the spirit.

Beer truck flips on its side -- creates impromptu block party

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."  --  Dave Barry.

A number of years ago in the chilly month of April  at about 10 a.m. I stumbled upon a fair sized delivery truck which had flipped over on its side on a somewhat busy street of a mid-sized town in the mid west.

The road was slick from a light rain shower which had earlier that day peppered the area. The driver of the vehicle, a recently hired employee, had misjudged his vehicle's turning radius and as a result the truck promptly flipped on its side.

This action in itself would have created a mild kerfuffle for this particularly quiet neighborhood but when the driver opened the rear sliding  panel door of the vehicle cases of mixed spirits and kegs and bottles of booze of every brand and description spilled out easily onto the wet roadway.

   


The driver of the vehicle was more embarassed than  he was injured as residents in the immediate vicinity rushed to assist him. The police were called to the site, a tow truck and a few wooden pallets were brought in to help the driver unload the truck so that the vehicle cuold be flipped upright.

Traffic was rerouted around the accident site and a number of the onlookers volunteered to help the driver with the unloading and reloading of the vehicle. By noon the driver and his vehicle left the accident scene relatively unscathed.

The accident had generated not only community interest but also a spirit of concern and assistance for the driver and his vehicle. This impromptu block party brought many of the residents out of their homes and into the street to assist  with the cleanup. The irony of the story lies in the fact that the truck had been recently loaded at the liquor store that morning and the dock supervisor had advised the man  to get the deliveries done as quickly as he could.

Replacement eReader plagued with inherent technical problems Support staffer's online suggestions fail to resolve issue Pt 2

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila"  ---  Techguy.

Reader's Note:

It had been a nerve-racking week waiting for the replacement Kobo eReader to arrive. I had tried numerous times to reactivate the original unit. All my efforts proved fruitless. The three- part action plan suggested by the online support staff member did not work. The message on the front of the frozen screen indicated that the machine was charging even thought it was not connected to any power source. The "new" unit could only be an improvement on the one I had just mailed back to the Kobo support center.

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The replacement unit was a Kobo Black-- the same model type that I had returned. It was housed snugly in it's protective box and another connection cable and  set of user instructions had been included.  I carefully inspected the unit for any sign of damage and was pleased to discover that it appeared to be in good physical condition. I then connected the unit to my computer's USB port and let it charge for the four hour recommended time limit. An onscreen message indicated that the unit was charging and an icon in the upper left corner of the screen showed me the level of charge currently stored on the eReader.

The first sign of any technical trouble occurred four hours later when I sat at my desk and tried to install the setup software. I visited the Kobo website as directed, downloaded the installation software, created a user account and then attempted to activate the eReader. I then turned it on by sliding the power tab to the right, made my language selection and expected an instructional screen to appear on the unit.

Instead, a blackened out information screen appeared and indicated  that the unit was currently charging and suggested that I allow it to recharge fully before proceeding with the installation process. It appeared as if the previous four hour charging cycle did not have any effect. I realized it was time for me to go online and again contact customer service. I also noticed that the touch screen was not as responsive as the former one had been. I had to tap the screen in a firmer, more than user friendly manner to get it to respond to my requests.This was not a good sign.

I then went online and connected to the Kobo technical support chat line. A female agent greeted me within a few minutes and asked me to describe my current situation. I slowly and meticulously typed in the procedures I had followed and reported that the results of these efforts were negative. I described the current onscreen message and also listed the steps I used to activate the unit. She apologized for the inconvenience and then offered a few suggestions I should try to activate the machine. 

Much to my chagrin she suggested that I attempt a factory reset which would not only delete any settings I had made on the machine but more importantly consume an appreciable amount of the power I had just theoretically added to the unit. I patiently explained to her that I had tried these manouevers and they did not work. I really did not want to lose that much power to a method I felt would not produce appreciable results.

A few moments later she suggested that I delete the setup program I had recently installed, visit a different website for the download program and then try the procedure again. I did as she suggested but the results were the same as before the new download. It seemed to me that the eReader and the computer were not communicating. When I connected to the Kobo website an update screen indicated that a book I had recently purchased was downloading but not to the unit I had attached to my computer.

She then told me that the unit itself might be technically flawed and that a Tier-2 action plan would be initiated. This meant that I would be sent another replacement unit and that a descriptive email would be sent outlining the steps I should take once the unit has arrived. To misquote Yogi Berra this "was deja vu all over again". I was told that the new unit would be sent out within the next three to five business days. 

I thanked her for her assistance in this matter. Again she apologized for the inconvenience this issue had caused me. She was polite and professional. I could only hope that the next unit I received would be a lot more user friendly and trouble free. I now patiently await the arrival of this third unit. I have decided to not tinker with the defective eReader I now have and hope that someone in Kobo customer support will send me a new and not merely a poorly refurbished unit to use.

Kobo eReader brochure offers misdirection to novice unit users Online technical support informative - replacement shoddy. Part 1.

      “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”  -- Groucho Marx. 

 

I purchased my Kobo eReader Touch Edition on March 21, 2012 using roughly 2100 Air Miles Reward Miles points. It was a costly purchase but I am an avid reader and wanted to take full advantage of the portabilility and advertised ease of use the unit offered. Friends and family members who were using the reader raved about the user friendly way it downloaded books from the internet.

Unfortunately, one year and two days later,  the machine malfunctioned while downloading a recent purchase and as the screen looked back at me blankly  and my anxiety escalated I realized that I would now be at the mercy of the company's online support staff to help me with this calamity. My reading rate had increased to four ebooks per month and I was proud of my accomplishment. I consulted the instructional brochure included with the reader but there was no tidbit of information I could use in this situation. I then went online and visited the company's technical support help chat line.

 According to the instructional brochuer you merely: (1) turn on the ereader; (2) download the software at: www.kobosetup.com; (3) follow the interactive instructions; (4) start reading in minutes. Simple enough. 

I chatted with a support staff member who helped walk me through the very basic steps of rebooting the unit:

 

• (1). Us a paper clip to jump start the unit by clicking a small opening located on the unit's back panel.
• (2) Depress  the on -off switch and rapidly click the silver home key.
• (3) Rapidly click both the on-off key and the home key for 10 seconds.

 

Needless to say none of these methods worked. The person helping me asked if I had allowed the unit to charge for the obligatory four hours period so that the battery would be fully charged and protected from damage. I told him that nowhere in the brochure did it mention this salient fact. I said I would recharge the reader for the four hours and see what would happen.The advisor was professional and friendly. I let the battery charge for four hours but that did not correct the problem.

The next day I once again signed onto the support website and chatted with another agent. I told this person that the machine was fully charged, that I had employed the three courses of action offered me the previous day but that the reader was still unresponsive. After going through the same three point routine with this person he decided that I would need to return the item to their technical department . They would send me a "replacement" and I would then need to return this dysfunctional one to them. He called this a Tier-2 procedure.

I was sent an email that that directed me what to do when I received the new reader. The standard address information was required as well as three distinct pictures of the unit: front, back and full screen. I would also need my purchase receipt for the reader. I sent them the required information and awaited my new reader. I was impressed with the patience and the attention to detail the technical advisors offered.

Ten days later I received my replacement eReader. A shipping envelope and a prepaid mail return address label was included for me to use. I carefully removed the replacement unit, put the faulty unit in the bag, affixed my name and address on the label and returned the package that afternoon. The transaction was carried out without a hitch.

Later that day I removed the new unit from the box, let it charge for four hours and then once again tried to setup the unit's software. I turned on the reader as directed in the brochure, selected my language choice and then waited for a setup screen to appear on the reader window. I sat there waiting but again the unit did not function. I was now looking at a blank screen that was as responsive as the previous unit's. 

 The reader screen then changed and informed me that the unit was fully charged and suggested I visit the Kobo website and dowload the setup program. I did this, followed the onscreen prompts and then plugged the unit into the USB slot on the side of my computer. Nothing happened. Pressing the WINDOWS+E key indicated that the unit was not registering on my computer. This was getting to be a really frustrating experience.

I realized that I would need to contact the Kobo technical support online staff for help with this matter. I now had two connection cables, two brochures and a lot of frustration ahead of me to correct this situation. I then connected to the internet, visited the technical support chatroom page and began my excursion into eReader assistance.

Reader's Note:

 I am currently waiting for my next replacement eReader. I will post an update to this situation as soon as I receive the new unit. Hopefully, they will send me a new unit and not a poorly reconstructed one.

 

Facial expressions uncontrollable and often revealing

"God may forgive your sins, but your nervous system won’t." ---  Alfred Korzyybski.

 

Each and every day we all strive to create a positive first impression that radiates our self assurance, personal confidence and of course our overall integrity and honesty. We don the proper attire, make sure we have not applied too much cologne or perfume and do that last minute check of our hair and clothing to ensure we have covered all the bases before that important interview or business meeting. The one area we neglect to double or triple check is our face and the type of expression we subconsciously present to the world every day.

Conventional wisdom states that the eyes are the windows to the soul.This is partially true. It appears that a person's face is the one area in which personal control is often lacking. The skin is elastic and immediately relates to the outside world the way we feel inside about certain situations, events, people and outcomes we come across in our lives. Facial tics are in a category by themselves and could possibly reflect a medical condition affecting the individual.

Feelings  of embarassment, arousal, interest and of course deception are all equally displayed on our faces 24 hours a day, seven day a week. A person may conscientiously  try to control their facial response but that usually ends up with disastrous results. Beyond the common facial tic usually associated with nervousness, embarassment or even stress our faces immediately reveal to the people in our immediate vicinity how we truly feel about things and situations we are currently experiencing.

Many times people try to unsuccesfully conceal the truth about what they are thinking and mentally formulate a plan to fool their current audiences. They try to avoid direct eye contact as they tell their tale but their ever  revealing facial muscles betray the deception in their words. They may claim disinterest in a certain thing but their uncontrollable facial response betrays their inner feelings. 

Poker players, card sharks, magicians, judges and at times employment recruiters look for those tell tale signs that a persona's face involuntarily reveal about inner feelings , conflicts and desires. A person when asked an embarassing question my blush readily, squirm uneasily in their chair, clear their throat repeatedly and then ask to hear the question repeated a second time. They hope that they can regain their composure and not be so visibly affected by the repetition of the question a second time. Ninety per cent of the time though their facial muscles give away their truer sentiments.

A number of the more popular television judges often demand that the people testifying in their courts look them  straight in the eye when they are relating their side of a legal situation. The judges listen attentively with their ears but also notice any and all physical twitches, eye avoidance and hesitations which either the plaintiff or the defendant offer durring their testimony. The more astute judges are usually correct in their overall opinion as to which party is telling the truth.

My friend Tom told me that he recently went to a car dealership to purchase a new vehicle. The salesman at the lot read his face and body language correctly and almost persuaded him to buy a more expensive car than he could afford. The thing that saved him from being totally bullied by the salesman was a recent technique he read about in a psychology magazine. He decided to give the method a try and it worked.

Psychologists, court judges and at times grade school principals use a form of this technique to get at the truth. They demand that the person before them look them straight in the eye. This makes the person feel very uneasy since we have all been taught it is bad manners to stare at another person. This is the interrogators ace in the hole. They merely watch the person's discomfort levels rise as their search for the truth continues.

There is a way to protect yourself from these taunts. Instead of looking the other person directly in the eye as you respond imagine there is a dark circle in the center of the other person's forehead. Fix your gaze there and do not let your vision veer from this imagined spot during the entire session. Take deep breaths and remain calm and relaxed. This technique will give the illusion of you maintaining direct eye contact with the other person.

This is a psychological gimmick that has been used for years by recruiters and car salesmen. It takes a bit of practice and patience to perfect its use but can be a lifesaver when facing someone who is trying to manage your opinions about things. Just remember that your face is the one involuntary muscle you cannot control and that your inner feelings are immediately reflected on it.

 

Judge Judy never criticizes cougar activity openly in court

"An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Older women couldn't care less. " -- Andy Rooney.

Don't get me wrong.  I too enjoy watching Judge Judith Sheindlin administer her unique brand of justice on sydicated television every day. She is a woman to be reckoned with and will not tolerate glib answers or know-it-all attitudes for long. She shoots from the hip and impartially tries each case based on its own merits.

Many times though in the past month she has  more than a few times publicly chastised the older man - younger woman relationship while remaining somewhat mute on her opinions about the older woman - younger man scenario. On more than one occasion she has instructed the older man to seek a more "age appropriate" relationship while the older woman younger man scenario is offered scant criticism.

At the opening credits to the show Judge Judy is portrayed as Lady Justice holding the scales of fairness and impartiality--  equality before the law. But how can this be the case when she critiques older men for  their partner choice and recommends they find a more suitable companion? This is especially galling to those men who are in a relationship with a younger woman and see it as being normal. This is not an example of judicial impartiality but more of an exercise in ego projection.

Examples of this prejudiced attitude include the folowing:

1. Male 56 - female 18. Relationship  deemed age inappropriate.
2. Male 65 - female 35 . Relationship deemed age inappropriate.
3. Female 40 (professional).  Male 20. No comment offered. Her former male friend aged 56 told to find a female in his office group. 

On more than one occasion Judge Judy informs her viewers that she is here because she is smart and was not hired for her looks. Her employers probably demand that she put on a good show and ruffle a few feathers. If that be the case then her promoters should change the opening credits of the program to reflect a more judgemental and biased approach to solving legal issues.

Justice is not blind when the judge is smitten with her own ego and suffers from a momentary lapse of fairness.  Judge Roy Bean she is not but her unique approach to fairness and impartiality should be brought under the lens of public scrutiny. Change the attitude or get outta Dodge City!

"Pay attention son...ah say pay attention."

"Lady crossing the street, not paying attention, almost got hit. Turns to husband & screams, 'Why didn't YOU watch where I was going?!"  ---  Kal Penn.  

Foghorn Leghorn, the blow hard, long-winded cartoon chicken pictured below used that very expression numerous times to capture his viewing audience's attention and to inform a young naive chicken hawk that he (Foghorn) was not the object of his hunt. He was trying to not only dissuade the chicken hawk from eating him but also to tell everyone that at times it's a good idea to be aware of what's going on in your immediate vicinity and reality.

Experienced trail hikers pay close attention to where they are. Deep sea divers, mountaineers, skiers and  and even project managers also do it. They set up certain time and safety parameters and follow these guidelines faithfully. Their lives and safety depends on their being aware of the changing environment around them. They know from experience that pushing certain limits (redlining) will cause them physical harm or project failure.

The rest of us tend to go about our daily lives on auto pilot always wondering why certain things happen to us --- usually bad things. Sometimes we all fail to appreciate the immediate environment we are in and work on assumptions that tend to either defy or defend  the world around us. Common sense is placed on the back burner and techno sense kicks in to land us in difficult situations. We cross the road against a yellow light, forget to look both ways when turning at an intersection and refuse to visit our doctors when serious symptoms arise.

Have you ever heard of people who have had bad experiences using the GPS units installed on their vehicles? They claim that they were following directions faithfully but still ended up lost. The system suffered a momentary unbeknownst glitch but the individuals involved did not bother to compare their outside reality to the readings the GPS offered them. Their trust in the gadgetry placed them in harms way. 

Similar instances of blind faith and ego involvement involve customers standing in a a checkout line at the grocery store. Before they park their cart they surveil the number of available lines, choose the one that seems shortest and then park their carts in that line as a reward for their due diligence. Sometimes this over fixation leads to lost opportunities as when a cashier opens up another checkout station and they refuse to relocate even to a shorter lineup.  Their assumed sense of entitlement blocked them from reality.

The act of waiting supposedly builds character but many folks allow their overly active imaginations to create scenarios that block out reality and thus cut them off from available opportunities. Many times these are spontaneous events and more alert minds are able to sift through the apparent confusion and take advantage of their good fortune. You could label this "good luck" but in reality it is the knack of paying attention to the world around you.

Waiting for reality to tap you on the shoulder, take you by the hand and lead you to brighter pastures is a naive approach to becoming aware of the people, places and things around you. Actively becoming aware of the events around you can put you in a more proactive frame of mind and keep you out of harm's way and a lot more receptive to many more of life's ongoing opportunities.